- Always start in the backyard so that your embarrassing attempts at starting the lawnmower and your obvious lack of expertise about exactly how to maneuver the lawnmower do not become dinner table conversation for the neighbors.
- If the self-propelled feature is no longer working on your lawn mower, then you do not need to go to the gym beforehand or for the next several days if there are hills in your yard.
- When your husband mentions that the self-propelled feature isn't working (years ago) and says he needs to get it fixed, don't just smile and nod. Make sure he follows through just in case you need to mow the lawn someday.
- If you accidentally run your lawnmower into mulch, you might want to close your mouth and duck because it flies everywhere, or at least that's what I've heard.
- Moles really are as evil as Emmett said they were.
- Rather than mowing a hill full of mole tunnels (see #5) that is enclosed by fences on two sides and bushes on a third, just give up and buy a goat.
- Mowing grass is much more satisfying when your lawn is thick and lush (the backyard) rather than when it looks like a bald man's combover (the front yard). Now I know why Emmett was obsessed with planting grass seed last fall. It's all dead now thanks to the summer.
- Thin strips of tall grass between two nicely mowed isles are not chic.
- And how in the world does that one blade of grass that's two feet tall survive multiple mowings? No idea. It's still out there in the back yard.
- Watch out for low hanging branches waiting to assault the innocent head passing by.
- Artificial turf was a genius idea.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
So a combination of losing my lawn service (he got another job) and an end to the drought made Quinn comment the other day that our grass was getting really long. You know it's bad when your four-year-old points out exactly what you've chose to ignore. I've had so many offers for help that I was waffling on what to do. So I decided to tackle it myself because hey, I've never mowed a lawn, and it can't be that hard, right? Besides, everyone should do it once. So here are my observations after mowing the lawn for the first time (And yes, it's okay to laugh and the comments are open for mocking):