gift

I should have known that it was going to be a rough year when, two weeks into kindergarten, Quinn got strep throat on my first day of school.  Strep throat for both of us, a couple random fevers for Quinn, two broken arms, a never-ending sinus infection for me, and now another fever - possibly the flu- for Quinn.  Seriously?

My soul, like my body and my mind these days, is limping along as I begin to understand more and more of the emotions Emmett had to fight every day when he woke up sick.  Although I'm sure I have lots of mental problems, I haven't really struggled with depression.  Moodiness, stupidity, and a general lack of social skills - absolutely, but never really depression.  With all the physical tolls on my body this year, though, I've seen how much my mental state depends on my health.  I'm understanding why Satan wanted to tempt Job to curse God by attacking his physical body.  It's one thing for the world to fall apart around me, but it's another thing for my body to work against me.

And as much as I feel like an insect wriggling under God's thumb waiting to be crushed, I know this is exactly where I'm supposed to be.  I just really wish the pressure would stop rising.  Because every once in a while, you just need to want to get out of bed and something about being physically sick has reminded me just how much I want to get out of bed.  And lately, I've needed that reminder, so I'm thankful even for sickness to remind me that today is its own gift.